Rebuttal: 5 Reasons Why Transformers 2 Will Be The Worst Film Ever Dan Koelsch, June 6, 2009July 6, 2010 If you have yet to read Matt’s article citing the 5 reasons Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will be the greatest flick ever, check it out here. This is my rebuttal: 5 reasons it will be the worst movie of all time. 5. Megan Fox and Shia LeBoufI mean, come on. The plausibility factor on this coupling is extremely low. Sure it works in the first film (barely) as the quintessential nerd gets the babe romantic subplot, but to carry it over to the sequel just confirms the idea’s absurdity. Here’s this badass chick who’s going to stick by this panicky nerd’s side no matter what. Right. Next you’re going to tell me that Angelina Jolie could fall for someone like Billy Bob Thornton. Wait a second… 4. The FallenFirst off, weak name. How can I be afraid of something that sounds and looks more like a victim than a predator? Also, he teleports. What, being a large machine that can transform into sweet-looking vehicles isn’t enough? Aside from being too powerful, the Fallen is also part of the Transformers’ way too confusing background. Just reading about the Fallen’s part in the grand scheme on Wikipedia made my eyes bleed. 3. Overdose of Machines The first film was bad enough, with the machines being able to transform into seemingly anything and everything. Now there’s even more of them. Why even bother with humans then? Just do a movie full of machines. Oh, sorry, that’s in Transformers 3. The complexity of the transformers makes this even worse since half the time I can’t even tell what’s going on in the action sequences. It’s just a barrage of shiny, colorful, metallic things and debris. 2. Roberto Orci and Alex KurtzmanWhen I saw the first Transformers movie, I thought that Orci and Kurtzman couldn’t write for shit. Then I saw Star Trek and my mind exploded with confusion. How could the guys who wrote such an abysmal storyline and dialogue for Transformers be the same guys who wrote the smart and witty Star Trek? I still don’t know, but my hopes have not been raised for this sequel, thanks in part to the clips we’ve already seen. The fact that it’s trying to be smarter than the original (in a Da Vinci Code kind of way) just means they’ll fall even farther onto their face. Not that anyone really cares about the story; it’s all about the pretty machines. 1. John Turturro A lot of that abysmal dialogue went to Mr. Over Actor John Turturro. Sure, he’s been decent in other films, but his role in Transformers stood out like a sore thumb. To this day I still quote “criminals are hot!” as Exhibit A for Transformers sucking. Why was he even in the first film? Whatever the reason, he’s back in full force in the sequel. The fact that he has a larger (or at least more important) role is Exhibit A that this film will suck even harder. Editorials Features Alex KurtzmanJohn TurturroMegan FoxRobert OrciTransformers
For Your Reconsideration: The Time Machine (2002) June 15, 2013June 14, 2013Do you always agree with the general populous when it comes to movies? Then our newest feature, For Your Reconsideration, may not be the right one for you. Twice a month, I will provide my own review to a poorly-reviewed movie that I actually like. Hopefully my reviews will inspire… Read More
Trailers Weekly: “A Christmas Story 2”, “Cloud Atlas”, “Hansel and Gretel”, and “Breaking Dawn – Part 2” September 8, 2012Trailers Weekly is a feature in which we bring you the most popular and talked about trailers of the week. Sharing trailers is a classic viral practice, and trailers are still the most mainstream way for people to learn about movies. This week includes A Christmas Story 2, Cloud Atlas,… Read More
The Buzz: “Star Wars: Episode VII”, “Spring Breakers”, “Jurassic World”, and More May 12, 2014May 12, 2014We are bringing The Buzz back. For those who may know what The Buzz is, it is a column that covers the top three or five news stories that may not be considered viral related. Today we got quite a few bits of news concerning which characters will appear in… Read More
Are you honestly going into this film expecting a good plot, dialogue, acting and writing? If so, wrong film.You go for the robots and the action, nothing else.
Any film that costs over $150 million to make should at least attempt to have a good plot, dialogue, acting, and writing.
I thought posting thing’s while drunk on the site was 1 billion percent against the rules?Oh and, your argument doesn’t hold up Dan, your points can be countered by a million better ones.
Are you honestly going into this film expecting a good plot, dialogue, acting and writing? If so, wrong film.You go for the robots and the action, nothing else. Even they couldn’t rescue this film. They were actually quite boring. I spent the last half hour wishing I had a ff button…. and a mute button.And a stop button.