“The Expendables 2” Review: Absolutely Insane Loud Fun Without The Annoying Mind Bending Questions

The Expendables may have gathered the greatest action stars of the 80s and 90s, but its dull story prevented the film from being great. So any expectation of The Expendables 2 was very low. But all the film really needed was a new director, a couple more action stars, extended cameos, and better executed cheesy dialogue. That’s what The Expendables 2 has. Hit the jump for more.

The film is cluttered with very bad CGI, flying fists, pools of blood, characters quipping one liners from other movies, and Jean Claude-Van Damme, who looks exceptionally cool in The Expendables 2. And although the script very simple, it’s a far better script than what the first film had to offer.

In The Expendables 2, our heroes has just finished saving Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and a Chinese billionaire. But after returning home Barney (Sylvester Stallone) comes to find out that he still owes $5 million to Mr. Church (Bruce Willis). Barney is offered two choices, accept an easy mission (oh it won’t be) or get sent to prison (oh come on, a guy like that would own the prison at the end of the hour). Barney chooses the former and his team heads to the misty mountains of the northern hemisphere to recover a drive that has the location of a massive amount of weapons grade plutonium. Of course, Barney and his team aren’t the only ones who know of this drive.

Again, though the film has a fairly simple plot, every character gets the comedic moment or chance to take a jab at one-liners other cinematic characters would normally say. To hear Schwarzenegger quip something from another actor’s movie is quite hilarious or him demanding to use Terry Crewes’ big gun is even more funny. Luckily the film is not filled with these zingers, in fact the film has a few original ones that will make you laugh, even at the most poignant points of the movie. So don’t feel bad if any of the audience members gives you a dirty look when you laugh at Barney trying to be sentimental, because it is alright.

But the stars of the film has to be the cameos made by Schwarzenegger, Willis, and Chuck Norris. The dialogue exchange between Schwarzenegger and Willis is just so much fun, that if you laugh too hard, you might miss a few things. But from the moment Norris gets into action in his first scene, the movie literally lights up. Jean-Claude Van Damme, who plays as the film’s villain, even gets in on the quipping fun by having a few accent heavy zingers himself. Again, he just says so many absurd things that it will be hard not to laugh, and when you do, you knee will be seriously bruised.

There are a lot of fun action scenes in this movie, but they tend to get bogged down by the terrible CGI in the film. But the hand-to-hand combat scenes are just a joy to watch, and seeing Jet Li and Stallone fight one on one with their fists and not their guns will definitely keep you glued to your seat and leave you saying wow by the time the fight is done.

This isn’t Academy Award winning stuff, it’s just pure popcorn fun. It doesn’t intend to take itself seriously at any point in time; it even acknowledges just how crazy absurd the logic of the film really is. And with all the massive explosions, fights, and crashes, things in The Expendables 2 will get quite crazy that you will just give up questioning if that could really happen.

So take The Expendables 2 for what it’s really worth. It’s not trying to win awards, it’s not trying to make you think, it’s not trying to make you feel a certain way, all it the film really wants you to do is enjoy what you are watching, no matter how crazy the scenes really are.