Movie Review – G.I. Joe: Retaliation (3D)

If you go back a few years ago and read my review of The Rise of Cobra, I make mention of G.I. Joe being a massive part of my childhood and that still holds true. Back in 2009 I felt a little let down over what I had just watched, and with the upcoming Retaliation film, I got a little giddy based on what I had seen up to this point. The fact that Snake Eyes did not have a mouth was almost the selling point, I’m not going to lie. So could the new film directed by Jon M. Chu save my childhood that was taken away a few years ago? Keep reading and find out!

So as the story will tell you in the film, we are taking place after the last film and without going into a lot of detail, we have only a few cast members back for Retaliation as well as some new. All familiar names within the world of G.I. Joe. As the trailers show you, Cobra has taken over the White House and orders are placed to have the Joes terminated….. permanently. But that would make for a short movie. So, the hunt for Cobra begins. With a newer styled, and much more improved looking Cobra Commander, a new style of weaponry is introduced that makes nuclear arms look like water pistols. I will say that with the updates alone to both Cobra Commander and Snake Eyes, that is deserving of a thank you. If you watch closely in the opening credits, you will almost see a little mask change as if to say, “no one wants that look!”.

With that said, I was not overly thrilled with the rest of the film, nor the rest of the characters. I’m sorry but you do not throw in RZA and expect me to think he’s a blind ninja master. The accent alone was garbage. It was flat out awkward. Also this story was of that of a more detailed one, but with no help from the cast, it felt like filler. As with The Rise of Cobra it became a fun action flick, but not a good G.I. Joe movie. In fact some characters were so weak they should have never been part of the film. I’m looking at you, Flint. Superfluous indeed. The simple fact alone that we see Snake Eyes, in a well-lit kitchen, sitting on the stairs was enough to make me “WTF?” aloud. The scene I just mentioned has a somewhat humorous part of the film, but felt so extremely out of place that is trumped the whole thing.

As mentioned, and as with the 2009 film there were bits of humor throughout which for the most part worked. Great interactions between Channing Tatum and Dwayne Johnson were fun but while I love me some Bruce Willis, his lines were goofy. If his character was a bit darker, it could have worked a little better. Another good note was some of the 3D. The scenes in the trailer with the mountain top fighting made me shift a bit in my seat due to my horrible equilibrium. And some minor details that were included gave it an extra coolness.

An improved take on G.I. Joe over the last film, but not that much better. Go and have fun and a few laughs, but don’t expect great improvements as the trailers have shown.

STINGER: Nothing after the credits